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Joke of the Day

"The Chipotle I went to apologized for not having any lettuce today. I said ""It's cute that you think I'm here for that."""

Next Joke
 
"""Hi"" My name is ""What?"" My name is ""Who?"" My name is [chka chka] Slim Shady *scribbles on cup* ""Ok Mr Shrimp Scabies, I'll start your latte"""
"Doctor: Did you take the patient's temperature? Nurse: No. Is it missing?"
"I gave up and ""folded"" the fitted sheet into a rope so I could shimmy down from the 3rd floor to escape folding laundry."
"What do you call an angry cashew? A pissed-achio."
"How many cops does it take to beat up a light bulb? None. That light bulb fell down the stairs."
"How do you eat a bald pussy? You remove her diaper first."
"What does a ghost eat for dinner? Spookhetti"
"Free reddit! http://imgur.com/762fAPG FREE REDDIT!"
"My wife asked why I keep my guns in the library. I said it's for shelf-defense."
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