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Joke of the Day
"Hey girl, are you a washing machine? Coz you're making my pants wet!!!!"
Next Joke
"[at fancy-dress party shouting over all the barking] ""YOU NEED TO LEAVE"" me dressed as a giant vacuum cleaner: ""I DIDNT KNOW YOU HAD 6 DOGS"""
"To all those people who never finish what they start, I say..."
"Why did Joseph Goebbels own a pair of binoculars? For proper gander purposes."
"A lifetime of fire drills has prepared me to completely ignore the alarm during a real fire."
"What do you call a bird of prey with high intelligence? A falcon genius."
"julia!!!! sorry , i am a gay ..."
"DISH FATHER: You can NEVER see that spoon again! *daughter dish starts sobbing* [outside the window, Spoon is thinking] we leave tonight"
"I was drinking a margarita at the bar.... And a woman screamed ""Does anyone know CPR?!"" I replied that i knew the whole alphabet, we laughed and laughed.....well except for one guy."
"The jerk store called They say your order of Jamaican spices is in."