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Joke of the Day

"France and Italy go to war. Who wins? Neither. France surrenders and Italy switches sides"

"NEW EXPRESSIONS ""Kanye bless you."" ""Kanye damn it!"" ""One nation, under Kanye."" ""Thank Kanye Almighty!"" ""The Kanyefather, Part II"""

"The inventor of the remote control died yesterday. As per his wishes, he'll be buried in between 2 couch cushions."

"Men ask us if we're naked when we tell them we're taking a bath. THAT'S why they pay more for their car insurance."

"In a Mexican restaurant, Are the restrooms called ""Juans""?"

"I bought my girlfriend a fridge for our anniversary... I know it wasn't a great gift, but I loved seeing her face light up when she opened it."

"*walking into our new house* ME: Whaddya say we christen our new home? HER: *giggling* OK *later, flinging holy water* ME: GET OUT GHOSTS"

"What do Saudi guys and girls have in common? They all get stoned constantly."

"*Steals parking spot from guy backing in* Him:*middle finger* Me: [rolls down window] I SEE THAT YOU'RE NOT MARRIED. I ALSO AM NOT MARRIED"

"What's the difference between a knife, and an argument with a female? A knife has a point..."