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Joke of the Day

"I bought my girlfriend a fridge for our anniversary... I know it wasn't a great gift, but I loved seeing her face light up when she opened it."

"Why did the terrorist go to Sonic? To have a Blast!"

"My all time favorite lawyer joke. Q: What's the difference between a porcupine and a BMW full of lawyers? A: The porcupine has the pricks on the outside."

"[Nsfw] So I went to this convention for women who had lost their legs... The place was crawling with pussy."

"Where did George Washington keep his armies? In his sleevies."

"After being hit by an airstrike from the Turkish air force, a Syrian leader was quoted as saying... ""As God is my witness, I thought the Turkish couldn't fly..."""

"If anything I post offends you, please, please bring it to my attention so I can delete you off my friends list."

"I can sleep for ages and not get tired"

"What do you call a fugitive, talking down to you while fleeing down the stairs? a condescending con descending."

"the poor people on welfare should not eat steak and sea food. they should be drinking raw sewage out of an old boot while thanking me"