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Joke of the Day
"My father walks into a bar... And stays there for the rest of my childhood."
Next Joke
"What's an alcoholic's favorite type of soap? Bar soap."
"Help is a magic word. Say it to people & watch them disappearing from the horizon of your life."
"How many instruments do you have to be terrible at before you start playing the triangle?"
"TIFU by posting in the wrong sub. ;)"
"[Last Supper] Jesus: *holds up bread* This is my body *holds up wine* This is my blood And this is Sparta! *kicks Judas into a pit*"
"*I cycle off mt Rushmore and fall to my death but my bicycle lands on the end of Lincolns nose and makes a perfect pair of reading glasses*"
"Merry Christmas to everyone tomorrow... ....Today, fuck you."
"Things Women Over 30 Should Never Wear 1. exploding glove 2. ham sandwich 3. flaming fireplace 4. Dead bird helmet 6. shark eggs"
"What do you call it when a feminist yells so much she spits on your face? A femijizm"