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Joke of the Day

"*I cycle off mt Rushmore and fall to my death but my bicycle lands on the end of Lincolns nose and makes a perfect pair of reading glasses*"

"I always wondered why a Frisbee looks like it gets bigger & bigger the closer it comes to you.. and then it hit me."

"[Spelling Bee] Your word is palindrome ""Can you use it in a sentence?"" Go hang a salami I'm a lasagna hog."

"A friend and I saw a man killed at the canned goods factory... It was a jarring experience."

"Sorry I put a Gryffindor scarf on the baby Jesus in your nativity scene and called him Hermione Manger."

"Where did the ADHD kid spend his summer? (Dark) At a concentration camp."

"Dealer: You followed? Geologist: No man. Its cool. *dealer opens trenchcoat and metamorphic rocks fall out Geologist: Gneiss... Gneiss"

"Everyone tells me I'm average... That's just mean."

"conjunctivitis.com Now that's a sight for sore eyes."

"I was 14, my dad caught me drinking. 'Dad, that's the first time' 'That's a lie, no one ever gets caught the first time.' So I robbed a bank"