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Joke of the Day

"What are the ten greatest years of a woman's life? The ones between 39 and 40."

"Whats the difference between a black guy and a snow tire? A snow tire doesnt sing when you put chains on it."

"Just gave the Earth a one-star rating and a bad review on TripAdvisor to discourage any aliens that were planning an invasion."

"Great Comcast customer service http://gizmodo.com/comcast-changed-customers-name-to-asshole-brown-but-i-1682409072 Best article i red in while."

"My friend Opie owns a pizza restaurant. Wanna know why it's so successful? Because Opie delivers."

"Me: - Sweetie, why is the bottle of whiskey half empty? Wife: - Because you're a pessimist, honey!"

"What do you get when you play country music backwards? You get your job back, you get your wife back and you get your tractor back."

"I wonder what Ethiopian hipsters post on Instagram... But it sure isn't their food..."

"I thought it was sweet that the Democratic debate maintained a Paris related theme... The whole debate was Bernie Sanders and Martin O'Malley Eiffel Towering Hillary Clinton."

"1. Put on red T-shirt. 2. Remember that I need to go to Target today. 3. Take off red T-shirt."