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Joke of the Day

"My friend Opie owns a pizza restaurant. Wanna know why it's so successful? Because Opie delivers."

"I want to leave this world the way I entered it... By accident!"

"The only sexual problem I have is... I don't have sex."

"10 reasons why doctors use defibrillators... Number 4 will shock you!"

"When I saw ""likes music"" on her dating profile, I almost fell out of my chair. Because I also like music. Holy shit she likes good food too!"

"Your Honor, for our opening motion in this murder trial, the defense would like to submit, as exhibit A, the victim's ringtone."

"How do you turn on a female mathematician? You Euler up."

"What do beef hearts smell like? Honey."

"Did you hear what happened at the indian restaurant yesterday? Apparently it was a Naan event."

"I know that Bill Cosby is guilty because his comedy has been putting me to sleep for years"