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Joke of the Day

"Why did the Hipster order piping hot soup? He wanted to eat it before it was cool."

Next Joke
 
"If only mosquitoes sucked fat instead of blood."
"I hate when I'm cruising in my convertible, hair blowing in the wind, then realize I'm just sitting on my ride-on lawnmower. Drunk. Again."
"How old is your Grandma? I dunno but we've had him a long time."
"Hey girl are you a new high efficiency dishwasher because you're so quiet it's hard to tell if you're turned on"
"why are sex ed and drivers ed never on the same day in Iraq ? the camel would get overworked"
"I've given up masturbation for a week I'm just not feeling myself anymore."
"My kids use all the toilet paper, dictate when I sleep and eat, and destroy everything I own. My house is its own little communist country."
"What do you call a horny cow? Beef jerky :)"
"A Medieval Escort I've been down on my luck, but today I was finally offered a job as a medieval escort. Unfortunately, it means I will have to work fucking knights."