111586

Joke of the Day

"A Medieval Escort I've been down on my luck, but today I was finally offered a job as a medieval escort. Unfortunately, it means I will have to work fucking knights."

"Why do scuba-divers jump backwards into the water? Because if they jumped forwards they'd still be in the boat."

"What's the difference between God and a Welder? God doesn't think he's a Welder."

"What did the Nazi without a car say? Damnit! Now I'm going to have to sieg HAIL a cab!"

"I can never remember, is it ""break a leg"" or ""choke and die""? My niece looked pretty upset."

"It's hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs. Because they always take things literally."

"Why can't ghosts make babies? They have hollow weenies! .... And I'll just see myself out."

"My penis and I are really good friends but... We've never really seen eye to eye"

"A girl asked her brother If he could help her move her stuff to her new house and he refused and she asked him why He said he couldn't be her brother and assister too"

"Why did this adhesive strip quit his work? He just couldn't tape it anymore.."