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Joke of the Day

"Being sick and tired of all the excess fat, one day I decided to burn it off. And then I started running... ..from the police for setting my wife on fire."

"Dream carefully, because dreams come true."

"So a special type of animal that can turn into food does not cross something. What a CHICKEN!"

"My Boss thought that getting a vasectomy would keep his wife from getting pregnant. All it did was change the color of the baby."

"When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that's LUNAR ASSAULT and it's not funny."

"What did the Seattle-based baker say to her apprentice? Someday you will bake like I bake."

"Three guys are on a boat with four cigarettes, but they don't have any matches or lighters. What do they do? They throw one cigarette overboard and the entire boat becomes a cigarette lighter."

"When discussing political party views in government today, my teacher asked ""How would a conservative view pornography?"" I muttered ""in high definition"" and now apparently *I'm wrong*"

"We're all part of the WTF generation: Wikipedia, Twitter and Facebook."

"Dead Alive Other"