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Joke of the Day
"Dream carefully, because dreams come true."
Next Joke
"On Jeopardy This is the largest mammal in the animal kingdom. *leans into mic* ""Who is, your mother?"""
"I plan on getting ""sidewalk nap"" drunk tonight."
"What comes after 69? Neither Alan Rickman nor David Bowie"
"I realized today why some people spend their lives looking for bigfoot. He doesn't exist."
"The milk is so good its Legendary"
"Why was there thunder and lightning in the lab? The scientists were brainstorming."
"I'm going to subtly spread my brownie crums across your car because I silently resent you for changing the song."
"I just did one of those ""what noun are you"" quizzes... and I got ""pedantic"", which is an adjective."
"""Sorry I haven't been tweeting much lately."" guy who actually thinks people notice when he's not tweeting"