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Joke of the Day

"When discussing political party views in government today, my teacher asked ""How would a conservative view pornography?"" I muttered ""in high definition"" and now apparently *I'm wrong*"

"So Oxygen, Hydrogen, Sulfur, Sodium, and phosphorus walk into a bar. The bartender says ""OH SNAP"""

"How do you make a hormone? Don't pay her enough"

"Doctor says I need to see a chiropractor for my back pain... I said ""Are you nuts? I don't have time to go to Egypt!"""

"I Masturbated so well last night That when i woke up this morning my dick was in the kitchen making me breakfast!"

"What's the difference between a man in plain clothes riding a unicycle and a man in a tuxedo riding a bike? Attire"

"Happy Groundhog Day everybody!!! So put your little hand in mine and there ain't no hill or mountain we can't climb..."

"Beyonce: 'Who run the world?' Generally people who have at least a basic understanding of grammar."

"I brought a can of WD-40 with me on a first date It had been a while since my last date, and I was afraid I might be a little rusty."

"I'm a guy that loves to show a woman exactly what I like sexually. So I start off every first date with a 2-hour PowerPoint presentation."