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Joke of the Day

"How many pick-up artists does it take to change a lightbulb? Zero. They just keep praising and negging it, and then get upset when it doesn't screw."

"Have you ever heard of the ckicken plant? I guess the eggplant came first! I work at a grocery store and a guy in the produce department told me this. He thought it was hilarious"

"How many forever alone guys does it take to change a light bulb? One, but he wishes it was two."

"Ever since I took geometry at school, my life has turned around 360 degrees."

"What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? Lickalottapuss"

"Your restraining order says ""no"", but the 1/8"" gap between your living room curtains says ""yes""."

"Why do teenage girls only hang out in odd-numbered groups? Because they can't even."

"why cant Ray Charles see his friends?? Because he's married."

"I had a normal childhood My mom only jerked me off once when I broke my arm, no more than that!"

"Nurse: ""It says here you're lacoste intolerant? Is that a typo?"" Me: ""No. I just really, really can't stand polos with crocodiles on them."""