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Joke of the Day
"Why do teenage girls only hang out in odd-numbered groups? Because they can't even."
Next Joke
"Did you hear what sandy did to New Jersey? A few billion dollars worth of improvements"
"*Answers door naked* Jehovah's Witnesses... Me: Do you have a moment to let me tell you about my sex life? Here, have this pamphlet."
"What language are you speaking? Cause it sounds like bullshit."
"Pick up artists and garbage men should switch names."
"What's the difference between Stanley Yelnats and the rest of the kids in Holes? He was just a nerdy digger."
"Hot singles in my area have heard about me and are moving to other areas"
"[mugger trying to snatch Elsa's purse] Elsa: HEY LET IT GO! Mugger: OMG sing the rest"
"Why did they build a shrine to karl marx in Japan? Because he was a kami!"
"Smokey said ""Only you can prevent Forest fires"" That's alot of pressure."