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Joke of the Day

"when I kiss a guy who has a mustache I'll close my eyes and pretend he's either Mario or Luigi, depending on his height"

"On my first day of college my dad's only advice was ""don't date any of your teachers!"" Yeah right dad, everyone knows teachers are poor."

"I bought a box of animal crackers... I bought a box of animal crackers and the label said, ""Do not eat if seal is broken."" I open the box and sure enough..."

"What did Julius Caesar ask when finding a color to paint the Senate? ""Ecru, Brute?"""

"/r/jokes is the most environment friendly sub-reddit around With all the reusing and recycling of old jokes going around."

"This coworker is in a really good mood this morning, so I hacked his Facebook account and wrote ""sexy"" on all of his wife's friends' pics."

"""Sometimes I feel like a woman trapped in a woman's body"" - Russian nesting doll"

"What do you call Russian trees? Dimitrees"

"What are the 2 most important holes in the female body? No, you f**king pervert. It's her nostrils. How else could she breathe while giving you a blowjob?"

"Where do electricians get supplies? The Ohm Depot."