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Joke of the Day

"The real reason humans have two hands? Two boobs."

"I plan to retire at 30. The used tire business is just calling my name."

"In high school, I presented a project on communism I thought I would get terrible marx for stalin but the teacher was pretty leninent."

"Can we survive without whales? No whey."

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Aardvark ! Aardvark who ? Aardvark a million miles for one of your smiles !"

"tell me your best "" i was gonna tell a joke about X but Y"" mine is i was going to tell a joke about Wisconsin but it was too cheesy. ninja edit: i love puns"

"I bet Pope Benedict will appear on Celebrity Rehab this season."

"[cool person follows me] me: ok I gotta bring my A game now it's only good tweets from here me 5 mins later: horses r just big dogs ?"

"How do you turn a fruit into a vegetable? AIDS."

"Did you hear about the man who got sick at the airport? It was a terminal illness."