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Joke of the Day

"If someone sees you accidentally bite into plastic fruit, commit. don't show weakness. eat all of it"

"""So glad to meet you"" said the Hindu politely ? ""Charmed I'm sure "" replied the snake !"

"Wife's Dream! Wife: ""In my dream, I saw you in a jewelry store and you bought me a diamond ring."" Husband: ""I had the same dream and I saw your dad paying the bill."""

"A Pagan sees a particularly shocking event ... ""Deer *god*!"""

"Did you hear about the guy who watched that new Bruce Willis film five times in a row? He was a Die Hard fan."

"Rape jokes aren't funny. Ask a rape victim if they think rape jokes are funny. They'll say no. Not like that ever did them any good though."

"A long queue of people waiting to be hit in the face This is the punch line"

"What do you call a cheating wife? a Jenny"

"Do you smoke? Smokers: ""Yes."" Non-Smokers: ""Never have, never will."" Stoners: ""Smoke what?"""

"Be myself? BE MYSELF?!?! You don't care if I ever get laid again, do you?"