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Joke of the Day

"My neighbors headboard kept me up last night so I yelled,"" the guy last night made her scream louder."" Then it got quiet.."

"You just HAD to let snakes and spiders on the Ark, didn't you Noah? Way to go, man. Way. To. Go."

"Bill Cosby likes his women like he likes his town cars... Blacked out"

"What's the difference between a chickpea and a garbanzo bean? Nobody pays to have a garbanzo bean on their face."

"An elephant and a naked man were standing next to each other... The elephant says ""It's cute, but can you pick up peanuts with it?"""

"Hitler says... ""I order the execution of 6 million Jews and 1 clown!"" His officer responds with ""Why the clown?"" To which Hitler replies with ""See! No one cares about the Jews!"""

"*brings a laser pointer to the Broadway showing of Cats and creates utter mayhem*"

"What did the Spanish musician say when he went fishing? Castanets!"

"A guy walks into a bar owned by Eminem... He says,""Give me 2 shots..."" The bartender cuts him off saying,""You only get one shot."""

"What's the hardest part about being a vegan? Waking up at 5 am to milk the almonds."