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Joke of the Day

"What is the difference between a priest and a pimple? A pimple waits until you are 13 to come on your face."

"Who was the greatest prostitute in history? Mrs. Pac-Man, for 25c she swallowed balls until she died"

"Breaking News: Reliable sources reveal that Donald Trump is actually Cthulu. The absurd hairdo isn't absurd at all. It hides the tentacles."

"Why are fish cleverer than humans? Ever seen a fish spend a fortune trying to hook a human?"

"I dropped my phone when my friend accidently bumped my arm. It didn't break but for a moment I saw her whole life flash in front of my eyes."

"What is the best part about raping a midget? Their arms are too short to hold you back."

"So a blind man walks into a bar. No one warned him."

"What did the vegetables say at the garden party? Lettuce turnip the beet"

"What should you do if you find the corpse of a raped woman in the woods? Check your bearings, you're going in circles."

"Doctor: ""We got your test results back. I'm so sorry--it's Curiosity."" Cat: ""Oh my god..."""