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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a garbanzo bean and a chickpea? I've never paid money to have a garbanzo bean on my face"

"So a guy calls into work and says, ""I can't come in today, I'm seeing spots."" ""Have you seen a doctor?"" ""No, just the spots."""

"Life is like a box of chocolates. I only eat the brown ones."

"Why did the scarecrow get an award? He was out standing in his field"

"Muslim children... The blow up so fast"

"Right before our Grandpa died we covered his back in butter. He went downhill pretty quickly after that."

"eBay is so useless. I tried to look up lighters and all they had was 13,749 matches."

"I told my dog to heel... So he went to the hospital and did all he could."

"Me: What did you do at preschool? 3-year-old: We had to color inside the lines the WHOLE time. Me: 3-year-old: I need to lie down."

"Why did the hipster decide to drown himself in the tributary? He didn't want to be mainstream."