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Joke of the Day

"""Oh, no. No, no, no. Are you kidding me?"" -First thing I would say if someone raised me from the dead"

"Police were called to a daycare yesterday... Police were called to a daycare yesterday because a 5 year old was resisting a rest."

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Bera ! Bera who ? Bera necessity !"

"I went to the library the other day.. but I couldn't get in, it was fully booked."

"last I dreamed.... I was a muffler. When I woke up I was exhausted."

"I memorize Presidential Candidate speeches And Hillary's is hardest to get down PAC"

"My company uses salt water to solve any problem. We are called Saline Solutions."

"I know I'll never be a rocket scientist... because the amount of math they have to do is astronomical and I'm not very stellar at it."

"What gets better with age? Necrophilia"

"Life isn't about the moments that take our breath away. That's asthma. You're thinking of asthma."