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Joke of the Day

"last I dreamed.... I was a muffler. When I woke up I was exhausted."

"I knew she'd come crawling to me.. I mean, I DID steal her wheelchair"

"Did you know? If you stand under the moonlight and say the name of your true love 3 times, you'll look really stupid."

"What did one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob? If we don't get some support soon people are going to think we're nuts."

"What do you call a neurotic octopus? A crazy mixed-up squid."

"Who, me? Oh, just living the dream. You know, that one where you forget to wear clothes to work."

"Walking around Brooklyn, slapping people's brunches to the ground."

"Why wouldn't the two tampons talk to each other? They are both stuck-up cunts."

"I know people say, ""Don't bring a knife to a gun fight,"" but if there's an unsliced cake at this fight, we're all going to look like idiots."

"What do you say to someone who is making a cardboard belt? ""That's a waist of paper!"""