182030

Joke of the Day

"Do you know what Twitter is? It's the spot between your twat and shitter."

"Why did the orange stop rolling down the hill? It ran out of juice. I shall take my leave now."

"Why didn't Helen Keller scream when she fell off the cliff? Because she was wearing mittens."

"Ambulances are the original Transformers because sometimes they transform mid-ride into hearses"

"Did I miss the Limerick fad? There once was a fellow from Kent, Whose cock was so long that it bent. To save him some trouble, He'd put it in double. And instead of coming, he went."

"I was just told that my dog chased someone on a bicycle and bit him. That's bullshit, my dog can't even ride a bicycle."

"Mom: *tastefully decorates house* Kid: HERE ARE 20 MILK CARTONS I TAPED TOGETHER TO MAKE A SNOWMAN I EXPECT THIS TO BE PROMINENTLY DISPLAYED"

"I like my coffe like I like my slaves Free."

"Which program do Jedis use to open PDF files? Adobe Wan Kenobi."

"I hop in a tanning bed during storms in the hopes of being struck by lightning & turned into a lame, but beautifully bronzed, superhero."