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Joke of the Day

"I was just told that my dog chased someone on a bicycle and bit him. That's bullshit, my dog can't even ride a bicycle."

"What kind of hotdog did the Buddha order from the street vendor? One with everything"

"Why are doctors always calm? They have a lot of patients. Sorry."

"What's it called when two female scientists have sex for the first time? A double slit experiment"

"Therapist: Talk about your friends. Me: Now John at the bar is a friend of mine... T: That's a Billy Joel song. Me: You're no fun."

"Scrabble was invented by Nazi's to piss off kids with dyslexia. The word ""dyslexia"" was invented by Nazi's to piss off kids wigh dyslexia."

"How can you tell that you had sex with a Mexican woman the night before? You wake up with a jalapeno seed on your dick."

"Somebody stole my mood ring I'm not sure how i feel about it"

"Why do scuba-divers go in backwards? Because if they went forward they'd fall in the boat."

"My son has a play-date today & the mom said to dress him in holiday colors so he's in all black & I'm telling her we worship the dark lord."