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Joke of the Day
"Why didn't Helen Keller scream when she fell off the cliff? Because she was wearing mittens."
Next Joke
"Me: My bed is so warm and cosy. I never want to leave. Bladder: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA"
"Ever heard of the blind gynecologist? He could read lips"
"we're fucked When u thought that Donald Trump running for president was a joke then realized I don't have enough money saved up to move out of the country."
"I don't know why people like to crack rape jokes They're a real touchy subject which rub others the wrong way"
"You know what's so great about a Yankee? It's like a quickie, but you do it yourself."
"My parents are middle aged. ""Mine are to-"" [parents burst through bedroom door on horses] ""CHILD! DOST THOU DESIRE NOURISHMENT?"""
"A man is in critical condition for swallowing 250,000 dollars in large bills. No change is expected."
"That boy is so dirty the only time he washes his ears is when he eats watermelon."
"A girl came up to me the other day... and told me she saw me at the vegan club but I never saw herbivore."