181881

Joke of the Day

"The hardest thing about being a pedophile Is trying to fit in"

"Did you hear about the bassist? Did you hear about the bassist that was SO out of tune people noticed?"

"I'm not saying my ex wasn't pretty, but every time my wallet got stolen the thief would return her picture."

"I was surprised Oscar Pistorius owned a gun in the first place. I would have thought he preferred blades."

"Why is twelve an unfair number? Because it's two against one"

"*hears robber in house* If anybody is there.. I have Updog & I'm not afraid to use it. ""What's Updog?"" Not too much haha you? ""Robbing you"""

"What was the smoking bee full of? Nicosting!"

"What would you call a Russian invasion of Alaska? Ice [Krim](http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/%D0%9A%D1%80%D1%8B%D0%BC)"

"Once I saved 10 kittens from a burning building and yes all the people died but look how cute they are"

"Why does beyonce sing about the ""box to the left"" Because women have no rights"