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Joke of the Day

"What was the smoking bee full of? Nicosting!"

"if you don't appreciate Dwayne ""The Rock"" Johnson, I guess you could say you're taking him for granite. thanks & God bless"

"On Halloween I like to go to the store and buy apples and razorblades just to see the look on the clerk's face."

"""I love you. I'd do anything for you."" -let me see your phone real quick ""You're smothering me. I need some space"""

"I opened a company selling landmines that look like prayer mats ... Business is booming and Prophets are going through the roof."

"Why are pirates, pirates ? CASUE THEY ARGHHHHHHH"

"Robert Khardasian was OJ Simpson's lawyer And thus began the family tradition of getting black men off."

"Me: he's cute, how old is he? Guy: 25 months Me: first kid? Guy: yeah, how'd you know? Me: because you didn't say ""he's 2"""

"I don't like you messing with my donkey call-center business. I'm the one with my ass on the line."

"My friend was writing checks that his butt can't cash... it's because his butt didn't have a valid id"