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Joke of the Day

"Why does Starbux call it an Oprah chai? Does it taste like Gayle?"

"Cat saves kid? Please. My cat would've pushed me into traffic, stolen my identity, & would be living it up in Mexico by now."

"My girlfriend started biting her lip to look sexy... How do I tell her it's supposed to be the bottom lip?"

"Just met a guy.Omg he was so fit! Just met a guy.Omg he was so fit. Handsome even. Never will I met a guy like him again. Caring. Emotional. Nice. And his name was the first letter of each sentence"

"Am I original? -Yeaaah. Am I the only one? -Yeaaah. Do you wanna build a snowman? -Go away, Anna. Ok byyyyye."

"Someone should create a Trump parody Twitter account... That only retweets all the stuff he actually posts"

"Boss told me to glue 2 pieces of wood together Totally nailed it"

"When I die I'm going to go to heaven and God is going to be like nope, remember what you said on Facebook"

"The principal at my school called me in to his office today. He said ""I've just had a rock thrown through my window, are you responsible?"" No, I'm irresponsible. That's why I threw it."

"Officer: ""Do you know why I'm standing here?"" Me: ""You got all C's in High School?"""