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Joke of the Day

"The principal at my school called me in to his office today. He said ""I've just had a rock thrown through my window, are you responsible?"" No, I'm irresponsible. That's why I threw it."

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"What happens when a woman can't remember her mastectomy? Mammary loss   I made this up myself!"
"Good ice-breaker How much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to break the ice I'm.."
"""Master Yoda, are we on the right track?"" ""Off course, we are.."""
"It's getting harder and harder to find vodka-flavored vodka."
"I was wondering why the ball was getting bigger. Then it hit me."
"Today I realised I really want to tie the knot with the missus. Anyone know where I can find instructions for noose tying?"
"Scientists just announced the discovery of another planet in our solar system They're calling it Plu-two"