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Joke of the Day

"Cat saves kid? Please. My cat would've pushed me into traffic, stolen my identity, & would be living it up in Mexico by now."

"Love is all fun and games until someone loses an eye or gets pregnant."

"My girlfriend is the squareroot of -100. She's a 10 but it sucks because she's imaginary."

"Which rapist was a famous mathematician? Bill cos(b)"

"What do you call a fake spaghetti? An impasta"

"Q: Why can't Bill Clinton file a defamation of character suit against his critics? A: Because Bill Clinton has no character to defame."

"Im on a first name basis with Madonna, and Cher"

"My girlfriend just told me, I'm sorry I am married."

"What is a Hitman's favorite Mathematical Field? *Trigger*nometry"

"How to catch an elephant Dig a hole big enough for an elephant. Fill it with loose ash and cover it with frozen peas as bait. Then when he comes up to take a pea, you kick him in the ash-hole."