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Joke of the Day

"The worst is when someone ceases but they don't desist. That's some bullshit right there. Gotta do those simultaneously and whatnot."

Next Joke
 
"If you don't know, please ask. If you don't agree, argue. If you don't like it, please say it. But don't sit there quiet and judge me."
"I just wish God hadn't hidden all of my talents so well."
"I was playing Words with Fiends I scored 50 points for using all my runes, but summoned Pazuzu."
"""You're joking about calling it Good Friday, right? I told you the part about the nails?"" -Jesus #GoodFriday"
"You'd think a baby would make the perfect paperweight, but this one keeps rolling off my desk."
"Having kids is a little like when the free sample lady tries to tell you all about the cheese & you pretend to be interested while you eat."
"hey teens ! if you think you're angry now, just wait until you have to spend your own money on toilet paper."
"I drove my car into a river and watched it turn into a mobile phone... One minute, a Kia. Next minute, Nokia."
"Is LSD illegal or just frowned upon? Asking for a giant purple rabbit."