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Joke of the Day
"Is LSD illegal or just frowned upon? Asking for a giant purple rabbit."
Next Joke
"No, Groupon. Not even an 89% discount will lure me to ""An evening of yoga and rock climbing."""
"Why is Budweiser just like having sex on a boat? Because both are fucking close to water..."
"What is 6.9? A great thing ruined by a period."
"*hires skywriter Will you take me back if I stop wasting our money on frivolous things?"
"Pancake Day ... Has has really creped up on me this year"
"How many cops does it take to push a black man down the stairs? None, he fell."
"Who was the winner of the first Tour De France? The Wehrmacht Tank division."
"Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave me the hell alone."
"Stress? Don't talk to me about stress. Some of my favorite TV characters are currently in truly sticky situations"