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Joke of the Day

"Since twitter, I don't go from home to car to work to car to home I go from charger to charger to charger to charger to charger"

"What's the difference between America and yogurt? One has culture."

"Worrying does you no good. Or does it? What if it does? Can anyone confirm this? Maybe email me in case I have bad reception?!"

"I thought I had Tinnitus but the doctor said it was all in my head."

"What's a crusader's favourite drink? A Teu-tonic."

"Apparently there's a voluntary organization trying to gain legal rights for apes. I guess you could say their work is Pro-Bonobo."

"I just ate two French eggs... I think one is un oeuf"

"I was doing well on my diet until I got my period and had to eat four pieces of pizza, a block of cheese, two candy bars, and seven houses."

"As I looked at my naked body in the mirror, I thought to myself: ""I'm going to get thrown out of this home depot in a minute."""

"50% of fatherhood is repeating yourself. Other 50% is untangling your kid from the shirt stuck on their head cause you didn't unbutton it."