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Joke of the Day

"As I looked at my naked body in the mirror, I thought to myself: ""I'm going to get thrown out of this home depot in a minute."""

"Why did the old man throw the matress out the window? Dementia"

"Grammar: The difference between feeling you're nuts, and feeling your nuts."

"some babies are born premature but i was born very mature i just came out and i was like so what"

"What do you call a person who teaches you the art of farting? A tooter"

"I decided to face reality today and I definitely won't be doing that again anytime soon."

"What's the best thing to bring to your holiday party? A Christmas tree. Because they're lit."

"What's the difference between a Mac user and a PC user Mac users command, PC users control"

"How do mice celebrate when they move home ? With a mouse warming party !"

"A robot walks into a bar. ""What can I get you?"" the bartender asks. ""I need something to loosen up,"" the robot replies. So the bartender serves him a screwdriver."