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Joke of the Day

"Me: Guys, please, I just need 5 minutes without a question, so I can finish this. 4yos: Me: 4yos: Me: 4yo: Why do you need 5 minutes, Daddy?"

"Actor who had starred in almost every movie. Also Starring"

"I once had a math test in an elevator... I was wrong on so many levels."

"I recently started the new Brexit diet So far I've lost hundreds of millions of pounds."

"My favorite part about being an adult is that my pillow fort now has a mini bar."

"You wanna know who sounds like an owl?"

"The boy was having trouble learning about computer memory. He kept forgetting everything."

"You know what they say when you go black.... ....you're raising that kid by yourself."

"No one's laugh sounds like ""bwahahaha."" NO one."

"I bet if Jesus were here right now, he'd be like ""Toilets are amazing."""