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Joke of the Day
"Actor who had starred in almost every movie. Also Starring"
Next Joke
"What sound does an Italian make when you shoot him? Wop"
"So I'm talkin' to a giant squid monster and I sez to him ""What's kraken?"" (badum chh)"
"Why does it take so long for a pro-lifer to screw in a lightbulb? They love to watch mistakes being made."
"Everyone's talking about how the story with Ahmed and the clock has really blown up... ... but isn't the whole point of the story that the clock never blew up?"
"Why is it NASA has never sent a woman to the moon? It don't need cleaning!"
"Nothing makes me second-guess my language like a little voice chirping, ""Mommy, I found your freaking measuring spoons."""
"Did you hear about the blonde woman who has three hours of footage of raw chicken on her iPhone? The cooking instructions said remove sleeve and film."
"I used to be a People Person, but People ruined it for me!!!"
"Bear boss: I need to see you two in my office right away. *I see my coworker is nervous* Me: Relax, how bad can it be. Salmon: Shut. Up."