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Joke of the Day

"Sorry in advance Why did Helen Keller dog kill itself? You would to if your name was aaaaaaaauuuuggggfdddshnvxxkjkuuokkgdsgj"

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"To err is human; but to really mess things up requires a computer."
"Walmart greeter smiled at me. Long story short, the weddings Friday. Everyone's invited. Except Harold. HE said I'd NEVER find true love."
"What do people from West Virginia do on Halloween? Pump Kin"
"Wondering what atrocity I committed in a former life to deserve this shitty parking space."
"If you're a germaphobe and you know it... wash your hands!"
"Marriage. Because dodging your own family wasn't enough."
"Well, it's Feb 6th 2012 and there's no meat flavored cigarettes. I guess that book of predictions I made in 5th grade was bullshit."
"Latest reserch shows, that women with extra weight... Live longer, than the men, that mention it."
"What do we want? Procrastination! When do we want it? We will get around to it sooner or later."