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Joke of the Day
"I recently started the new Brexit diet So far I've lost hundreds of millions of pounds."
Next Joke
"Did you hear the energizer bunny was arrested? He was charged with battery"
"What does Pluto have up on Palestine? At least Pluto exists"
"How do you convey body language? With your figure of speech"
"Him: you're so beautiful. The moment you smiled at me,u had me Me: that's really sweet Me in my head: I have a piece of my poo in my purse"
"How do male civil unions not end with the phrase ""I dude""?"
"The 2017 forecast just came in Looks like reign with a slight chance of heil."
"So Chris Brown and Rihanna are now Engaged and they have a song together called ""Ain't nobody's business."" Well, I just wrote my own song called, ""Ain't Nobody Cares!"""
"My ex-girlfriend once said ""It's either me or Twitter."" I wonder how she's doing."
"A spider the size of a golf ball is in my kitchen so I guess this is my last tweet."