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Joke of the Day
"I recently started the new Brexit diet So far I've lost hundreds of millions of pounds."
Next Joke
"I decided to watch The Conjuring alone in a dark apartment and now I'm not allowed to make my own decisions anymore."
"Geez, there's a lot of people on this Ashley Madison list... It's a pretty bad state of affairs"
"you got to be fast to make it in advertising kid. gotta be snappy. gotta be clever. how would you sell a car? thats right: titties"
"What is the scariest part of a cavity search? When they put both their hands on your shoulders but keep searching"
"I have good and bad news WIFE: Bad news first We need a new front door WIFE: And the good news? [points to Monster Truck in living room]"
"When I went away for a lengthy business trip my wife and kids threw a big party... According to the email."
"What do Caitlyn Jenner and my Chrysler have in common? They're both convertables."
"Studies have shown that intelligent people swear more than stupid motherfuckers."
"They say the camera adds ten pounds so my girlfriend only needs to lose about four or five cameras before bikini season."