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Joke of the Day
"I once had a math test in an elevator... I was wrong on so many levels."
Next Joke
"the most awkward time in my life Was when I locked my keys in my car and had to walk into the nearby abortion clinic to ask to borrow a coat hanger."
"why do people keep putting flag overlays on their avatar when tragedies happen? like i've seen it happen with france, brussels, gay marriage"
"You hear about the three guys who died in a flight simulator when a plane crashed in to the building? Apparently jet fuel can't melt irony."
"""Hello, 912"" wait did u say 912? ""yup"" I meant to dial 911 ""happens all the time"" lol I'm such a goof ""haha right?"" my neighbor got stabbed"
"Whiteboards are just the best In fact, they're remarkable"
"Sometimes I just get tired of my new neighbors that I just want to strap a dildo on my head and anally rape them like a unicorn."
"""To label you ""divine"" would be to capture but a fraction of your resplendence. ... and could you pleeeeease grab an Oreo while you're up?"""
"For the record, riding my unicycle to the bank robbery was a terrible idea."
"McDonalds started selling a hotdog called a McJagger. It's mostly lips and a little bit of asshole."