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Joke of the Day

"""Interesting story. I will now find a way to relate your story to something in my life so I can start talking about me again"" - Los Angeles"

"What's the current number one song in Russia? Crimea river"

"UK /r/jokesters, tell me the most British joke you can think of. The less my American brain can comprehend it, the better!"

"I promised my wife I would not joke with her when she was PMSing. She has my word, period."

"Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? Yeah, great food but no atmosphere."

"What does a cannibal call a skateboarder? Meals on wheels."

"Any machine is a smoke machine if you use it wrong enough."

"This orgy would be a lot more fun if the people would loosen up and quit calling it an ""elevator""."

"I've never been interrogated, but I have ordered a sandwich at subway, so I think I'm prepared."

"Sorry for throwing mice at your wedding."