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Joke of the Day

"No one in my entire life has believed in me more than the waiter who just gave me a single napkin to use while eating my lunch"

"Dear Men. When a woman says she doesn't want to talk about it, you'd better shut up, grab a chair and get ready to listen...for hours."

"People say I'm quite contrarian. But I disagree."

"Getting paid to sleep... That's my dream job."

"I hit on an older woman on a dating site and she rejected me by saying ""is your dad available?"" So i responded to her by saying ""yeah, but i dont think he is into threesomes."""

"Men read Playboy for the articles, women go to malls for the music."

"A wizard is walking down the street... EDIT: Then he turns into a bar. Sorry, put this in the comment rather than the text field. Guilty as charged."

"Why can hipsters listen to Michael Jackson again? He's been underground for five years now."

"I only have two feelings, it's either ""I'm hungry"" or ""I shouldn't have eaten this much"""

"Why did the stripper need more insurance? She had little to no coverage."