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Joke of the Day

"A wizard is walking down the street... EDIT: Then he turns into a bar. Sorry, put this in the comment rather than the text field. Guilty as charged."

"[Parent-Teacher Conference] Teacher: ..if another kid is mean to her, she calmly walks away Me: *flips table* WHICH KID IS MEAN TO HER?!?!"

"I'm friends with 25 letters of the alphabet; I don't know why."

"I heard y'all don't like bird jokes This could get a little hawkward"

"Buy a man a fish, and feed him for a day, but teach a man to fish... And he has to buy a fishing pole, tackle, fishing line, and acquire a fishing licence."

"A man goes to the library and asks the librarian for a book on suicide, the librarian turns around and says ""fuck you, you wont bring it back"""

"Number one handheld A recent survey indicated that smartphone is the number 1 handheld device.. Penis has slipped to number 2.."

"""Stay strong!"" I said to my wi-fi signal."

"Cow tipping is a myth. Cattle rarely tip even when the service is good."

"Want to know why I like space heaters? ""They make great housewarming gifts"""