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Joke of the Day
"What did the judge order in his whiskey? Just ice"
Next Joke
"There once was a man named Brent He made poems wherever he went The poems were fine But on the very last line He added too many syllables"
"""She sends things to strangers on the internet and no one even cares but she keeps doing it"" - my dad, explaining me on twitter to my aunt."
"What kinds of clothes do protons wear? Plus sizes!"
"Q: What did the finger say to the thumb? A: I'm in glove with you."
"Friend: OMG did u see the thing on the news about the sinister clowns? Me: *flashback to me watching the debate* yeah I think I saw that"
"Who's going to lose the upcoming election? Society."
"Why can't you hear a psychiatrist using the bathroom? Because the 'p' is silent."
"Son, there's no need for a paternity test. I knew you were mine when you came prematurely."
"I spilled coffee over my keyboard, so I spent all day asking letters from my employees. ""Give me a ""g"" ""Give me an ""h"" They hate me now."