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Joke of the Day
"What did the judge order in his whiskey? Just ice"
Next Joke
"I quit drinking and my beer belly is now a pot belly."
"Overactive Bladder Hotline. Can you hold please?"
"[leaving store without bag] Cashier: Forgetting something? ""Oh wow, how embarrassing"" *walks back to give her a hug and kiss on the lips*"
"I just found a Macklemore CD in a Thrift Shop and the Universe imploded."
"I told the barber, ""a little off the top."" So he gave me a circumcision."
"I saw a black man running from a shop with a turntable, amplifier and speakers under his arm being chased by a security guard. Talk about stereotypes."
"It's pretty amazing that I'm able to balance my two kids, my career as a doctor, and my pathological lying!!"
"I went to a premature ejaculation clinic... ... but there was no one there. Guess I came too early."
"Q: Why did the librarian slip and fall on the library floor? A: Because she was in the non-friction section."