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Joke of the Day

"Mary: Do you think my sister's pretty ? Gary: Well let's just say if you pulled her pigtail she'd probably say 'oink oink '!"

"Dr: Your Mom is like regular moms except we lost her in surgery. Me: Did you just use a joke format to tell me my mom died Dr: yep"

"What is the difference between jelly and jam? I can't jelly my dick in your ass."

"When i die i want to go peacefully like my friend in his sleep. Not screaming and crying like the passengers in his car."

"""Why don't British people pronounce their T's? Because they're all in the Boston harbor."""

"An interrogator that just goes into the room and loudly eats a peach until the suspect confesses to everything."

"I put on real clothes today. What more can my boss want from me?"

"There's a crying baby on my bus and I'm all ""shut up baby, you're not the one going to work."""

"Why isn't there any knock knock jokes about the United States? Because freedom doesn't knock. It rings."

"""No, don't get up"" - how I greet people in wheelchairs."