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Joke of the Day

"Hey guys, we heard you guys were upset about losing a lot of subscribers on your YouTube channel. Nah, it's fine bros."

"Why was Sir Isaac Newton buried at Westminster Abbey? Because he was dead."

"I get plenty of exercise - jumping to conclusions, pushing my luck, and dodging deadlines."

"What did the Jewish pedophile say? Ay kid, go easy on the candy!"

"Hi guys! Nick is very handsome and an amazing cook. Are there any nice girls interested inMOM GET OFF MY TWITTER YOU'RE RUINING EVERYTHING"

"Why does the squirrel swim on his back? To keep his nuts dry."

"I went for a swim with my daughter... I felt a warm pocket of water in the waves and yelled at her ""Did you just pee in the ocean!?"". ""No"" she said ""the seaweed"" True story."

"""Hey honey"" *drags a cigarette* ""have you ever"" *drinks some scotch* ""slept with a guy"" *sucks a lollipop* ""with three arms?"""

"everyday im faced w/ a choice b/w good & evil. i try to be good but why woud i ever choose MIRACLE whip when i can hav a HELL MANS MAYONAISE"

"What did C.S. Lewis say about The Lord of the Rings books? ""I don't know what you're Tolkien about!"" Yeah, sorry.. I know it's dumb."