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Joke of the Day

"everyday im faced w/ a choice b/w good & evil. i try to be good but why woud i ever choose MIRACLE whip when i can hav a HELL MANS MAYONAISE"

"Left handed people in the past. Why did people back in the day not accept left handed people? Because it wasn't right. I'm sorry bye."

"I recently quit my job as a scuba diving instructor I couldn't handle the pressure."

"What's Michelle's favourite vegetable? Barackoli (I'm sorry I'll leave now...)"

"A baby horse is found injured. The cause of the injury is unknown, but foal play is suspected."

"My 10 yr old daughter was saying how stressful life is but she did add ""well, at least I've managed to go 10 years without drinking"""

"Hub: What's this? Me: A divorce jar. Every time we fight you put a dollar in & I'm a little closer to freedom. Hub: *puts $100 in* Me:..."

"What's the difference between you and Bear Grylls? You'd get fired if you drank piss at work."

"Why did the old lady fall into the well? She didn't see that well"

"*opens door* trick or treat? ""It's October 14th"" I'm dressed as a time traveller *scraps dinner off plate into his bag* ""touche"""