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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a group of people addicted to Japanese drugs? We abuse"

"I used to make arrow in the knee jokes... ..."

"I want a girl who asks me to do things that I have to Google."

"On a pirate's birthday, I asked him how old he was His response: ""Aye matey"""

"Want to piss your girlfriend off? Text her ""He's busy."" and turn off your phone."

"Does the 5-second rule still apply in the Men's bathroom at Target? I'm pretty commited to this pretzel, if it matters."

"What was a telemarketer's worst nightmare! He could not connect with the callee."

"If video games actually influenced behaviour you'd see a lot more people accidentally jumping in the air when they try to open doors."

"I could make a sandwich before a British person finishes saying ""et cetera."""

"GOD: I designed this world with a purpose, why did u change everything PEOPLE: We [pug walks by] GOD: What...the HELL...is that"