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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between harry potter and jews? Harry escaped the chambers."

"Can someone go to the gym and work out for me? I'm trying to finish this pint of ice cream. Thanks"

"A new study has proven... A new study has proven that people who have more birthdays live longer."

"Two's Company, Three's a Crowd"

"Me: So what do you do? Date: I work with animals Me: *imagining an office ran entirely by golden retrievers in suits* Your job sounds fun"

"What did the vegatable say to the fruit? Turnip"

"how do you catch a unique cat? unique up on it. (im sorry)"

"What was Jesus favorite games? Hangman and lacrosse"

"*Passing the same coworker in the hallway more than once: Don't look at me, I already said ""Hi"" to you."

"*handsome, young man walks up* HYM-Ms. Me-Hold it Jr. Yes, I'm sexy. But young guys aren't my thing. HYM-You've toilet paper on your heel."