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Joke of the Day

"*Passing the same coworker in the hallway more than once: Don't look at me, I already said ""Hi"" to you."

"Do scarecrows really work? No, but because they don't register for benefits, they don't count as unemployed either."

"Interview Tip: When you get the ""where do you see yourself in 5 years"" question, don't say ""post-apocalyptic tribal warlord""."

"When a tramp, covered in his own piss shouts at you, you don't take it personally. So why are you ever offended by idiots on Twitter?"

"""Why did u jump off that bridge?"" My friend did it too ""Well if your friend jumped off a bridge would u?"" Yes. I literally just said that"

"Let's use this thread to tell Alabamian jokes... They won't be able to read them."

"[math teacher] your homework looks like chicken scratch, but you got them all correct [later at home] I think she's on to us, mathmachicken"

"I have a light that gets sexually aroused by me. I turn him on."

"I've been waiting for almost half a year to post this this"

"A New Word For Your Vocabulary Electile Dysfunction : the inability to become aroused over any of the choices for President put forth by either party in the 2012 election year."